The Art of Asking

I am an irritatingly independant person.  I want to do everything on my own and I don't ever want help from anybody.  It's great to be so self reliant... to an extent.  

For much of my adolescence I convinced myself that I 'should' be able to handle everything.  I shouldn't need to bother other people for help.  

I took this into my early twenties and when I uprooted myself from my home town all on my own, I was grinding myself into the ground.  I was so focused on going it alone and rejecting any offers for help that I was unknowingly ostracising my loved ones.

I opened up to a friend one day about how I was struggling to do it all and handle grown up life.

'Bebe, It's ok to ask for help sometimes you know', and she lead me to a TED Talk by Amanda Palmer; 'The Art of Asking'.  To be perfectly honest, I was so exhausted when I watched this that I actually cried.  This was a great lesson for me.

I learned that just like we have thresholds and tolerance levels for other people, we also have thresholds with ourselves.  Like other people can drive us nuts, we can also drive ourselves nuts.  Sometimes, we just need to have another person in the mix to dilute the arguments we have with ourselves in our heads, offer a different perspective and be the voice of reason.

It's ok to ask for help sometimes, there is no shame in it.  People love feeling useful in someone else's life.  They actually love being relied on, and when you are vulnerable around them they feel trusted and valued.  You don't always have to go it alone.

"There is strength in needing others, not weakness."