LESS TAKE MORE GIVE.
The other night I couldn't sleep. So I started writing things down as I usually do in an effort to clear my head. I reached out for the first thing I could find to write on, an old notebook shoved under my bed, water damaged and crumpled. Writing as a way of beating insomnia is a bit like unclogging a drain. You don't know what exactly is stuck down there stopping the flow, so when you write it's pretty much a bunch of word vomit that doesn't make sense you just know it needs to come out.
I wrote a list of 'Silly things keeping me awake tonight'. I felt like I could breathe easier once I got to the bottom of the blocked drain in my head. Curious, I flicked back through the pages of this tattered note book wondering what I'd used this particular one for (I have hundreds floating around). It was one of my many reflection notebooks, full of thoughts of the day, what I'd learned in that day. What I loved reading more than anything, was my gratitudes for those days and more importantly, the people I was grateful for. It made me smile. It was kind of nice wondering, what those particular people had done for me on those days that made me thankful for them.
I wondered if anyone was ever grateful for me the way that I had been grateful for those people on those days. I deliberately thought of those people, and the good things they had done, and physically written their names down as a proclamation for my gratitude. That was the impact they had on me.
I watched this quick Facebook video the other day of one of my favourite PMA guru's Tony Robbins. He was asked,
'What do you think is the biggest reason relationships fail?'
'When people think of themselves too much'.
This wasn't about looking after yourself and basic love and care, it was about people 'thinking too much about what they can get from a relationship as opposed to what they can give'. Who is paying for what, who has done more. Yes, there's a balance, an equal divide, there always is. But it's also important to catch ourselves when we look at our relationships with others as a trade agreement, our deeds as currency for our own self esteem or personal gain. We value ourselves to the balance of these relationships. We keep record and we become obsessed by it. We forget to just give, we forget to just be and actually enjoy the art of giving.
The people who I was thankful for on those days, probably did nothing extraordinarily special. They didn't buy me a house, take me to Tahiti or clear my debts. They would have just showed up. They would have just made me smile, laugh, made me feel important. It made me realise how little effort it takes to be a good person.
So now, everyday I'm going to make a concerned effort to make people thankful for me. I'm going to just show up, make someone smile, laugh, make them feel important. And I'm going to reach out to those I was thankful for when I started this tattered notebook back in October 2014, to say a simple 'thanks again'.
